/// Beyond Monkey Boy: It’s a Steve Ballmer Quote-Tacular!
After 13 years as CEO, Steve Ballmer is giving up the top job at Microsoft, announcing plans to retire within the next year . While Ballmer has had a rocky tenure as CEO, a role he took over from company co-founder Bill Gates in 2000, it has been enormously entertaining to watch, largely due to his bombastic personality, relentless salesmanship and endless quotability. Here’s a collection of some of the more memorable remarks Ballmer has made over the years. On iPods ( 2006 ): “No, I do not [have an iPod]. Nor do my children. My children — in many dimensions they’re as poorly behaved as many other children, but at least on this dimension I’ve got my kids brainwashed — you don’t use Google and you don’t use an iPod.” On the music found on iPods ( 2004 ): “The most common format of music on an iPod is ‘stolen.’” On Android ( 2011 ): “You don’t need to be a computer scientist to use a Windows Phone. I think you do to use an Android phone … It is hard for me to be excited about the Android phones.” On open source ( 2007 ): “I would love to see all open-source innovation happen on top of Windows.” On the now discontinued Zune ( 2007 ): “We’re firmly behind Zune.” On possible advice he might give Google and Apple as they faced potential antitrust probes ( 2010 ): “No advice. I just wish them the best in getting lots of good experience.” On monopolies ( 2001 ): “I don’t know what a monopoly is until somebody tells me.” On the future of the PC ( 2010 ): “I think that people are going to be using PCs in greater and greater numbers for years to come. But I think PCs will look different … they’ll evolve. They’ll get smaller … they’ll get touch … their innards will change. The real question is, ‘What is a PC?’ Nothing that’s done on a PC today will get less relevant tomorrow. I think there will exist a general-purpose device that does anything you want, because people don’t want multiple devices, or can’t afford them.” On competing with Google in cloud services ( 2011 ): “All in, baby! We are winning, winning, winning, winning.” On Google’s 2007 hiring spree ( 2007 ): “I don’t really know that anybody’s proven that a random collection of people doing their own thing actually creates value.” On the brown Zune ( 2007 ): “It’s the dirt-bike market … we have high share there.” On Google ( 2008 ): “In the coming years, we’ll make progress against Google in search first by upping the ante in R&D through organic innovation and strategic acquisitions. Second, we will out-innovate Google in key areas — we’re already seeing this in our maps and news search. Third, we are going to reinvent the search category through user experience and business model innovation.” On Apple ( 2008 ): “In the competition between PCs and Macs, we outsell Apple 30 to 1. But there is no doubt that Apple is thriving. Why? Because they are good at providing an experience that is narrow but complete, while our commitment to choice often comes with some compromises to the end-to-end experience. Today, we’re changing the way we work with hardware vendors to ensure that we can provide complete experiences with absolutely no compromises.
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